Asking someone out on a date is simply stressful. What if they reject you? What is they laugh in your face? What if they call their friends and ridicule you? It can be traumatic! But sometimes it’s a necessity if you like someone.

Traditionally, the ‘man’ is in charge of asking the ‘woman’ out. But what happens when this man can’t seem to realize that you are attracted to him? You’ve gone the whole nine yards, greeting him in a flirtier tone, making eye contact, literally putting yourself out there, but nothing. He is as oblivious as a door knob.

1. Investigate

Remember, you are not only an interested woman you are now an investigator as well. You are better than any FBI special agent. Look for clues in his social media, usually this is the first place one could find out if there is- let’s say ‘competition’. Please note, Mr Sir may not post about his ‘bae’ but trust that if there is a ‘bae’ she’ll be all over the comment section. If you see one account handle that just seems to be plastered all over Mr Sir’s social media platforms you have found the ‘bae’. If there is no sign, you may approach the situation but with caution.

2. Ask around

So what if you don’t find anything on his social media? We go back to the old fashioned ways, ask his friends. Step away from the ‘close page’ button. Listen for a minute, don’t approach just any friend, approach someone that knows him well enough. Avoid direct questions like ‘Is your friend Mr Sir single?’ As a woman you are built to be crafty. You could ask questions like, ‘I haven’t seen Mr Sir this week, is his mama peleka-ing him mbio? *insert fake laugh here*’. The responses could range from ‘Yeah, you know a man and his obsession with his woman’ or ‘What mama? That man doesn’t know how to get himself into a relationship’. See, crafty.